Sixers' Fultz On IR Due To "Not Being Good At Basketball" Injury; Jimmy Butler Calls Him "A Paralyzed Exeggutor"
/Philadephia 76ers G Markelle Fultz is expected to miss 3-6 weeks due to an injury. According to Fultz agent/attorney Raymond Brothers, Fultz has been diagnosed with thoracic outlet syndrome. However, not everyone in Philly is convinced of this diagnosis.
Sixers head coach Brett Brown thought Fultz was missing time for another reason. “I thought he was missing time due to a ‘not being very good at basketball’ injury. The kid can’t shoot. How am I supposed to win with that? I didn’t even wanna draft him. But that burner account asshat Jerry Colangelo drafted him before he got fired. I could have had Jayson Tatum, hell even Lonzo Ball would better!”
Sixers G Jimmy Butler, freshly acquired from Minnesota, told reporters just how the injury was disclosed to the team. “I wrote that s*** on the injury report.” Butler said. “We all know he can’t play. I don’t even know why he still in the rotation. At least Derrick Rose can shoot a free throw without looking like a paralyzed Exeggutor trying to cast Thunderbolt. It can’t even learn that move! Get it? Exeggutor. Cause Markelle also got no arms. And like a thousand weaknesses… just like Exeggutor. I’m the gym leader in this bitch.”
Fultz will begin rehab for his shoulder in Los Angeles later this week.
