The Sultan

No this isn’t a Street Fighter character (probably), but it is post-Headshrinker and pre-TNA failure — Rikishi! After splitting from the Headshrinkers, Big Keesh was repackaged as The Sultan in 1996. He was managed by the Iron Sheik because it’s late 90s WWE and all people of color are indiscernible so why not?! A Samoan pretending to be an Arab Muslim managed by an Iranian totally makes sense to clueless Americans! Oh and here’s The Sultan wrestling a young Matt Hardy in a dream match no one asked for:

Superstars 1-5-97

2. Leif Cassidy

Leif Cassidy was once voted the “Whitest Guy in America” in a poll we just made up. But seriously, this is the definition of generic. Oh and get this… that’s Al Snow. Someone thought it’d be a great idea to bring back the iconic tag team The Rockers without Shawn Michaels. So in 1996, WWF told Al Snow to stifle all of his charisma and team with Marty Jannety (who was later released and this time it wasn’t for drugs). Thank God Vince decided to cross promote with ECW. Snow went to Paul Heyman and the rest is history.

3. Jamie Keyes

Look there’s Naomi (pre-Jimmy Uso). Naomi is still one of the most ath—

Oh wait… this is not about Naomi. Sorry, this is Jamie Keyes (Brittany Beede). This fitness model and certified bombshell signed with WWE in 2010. She competed in NXT Season 3, in which she was the first to be eliminated. She was released shortly thereafter. However, it wasn’t all bad news because we got Naomi here… and that’s just wonderful.

4. Phantasio

Another one of those “New Generation” Era gimmicks in the 90s. This particular train wreck was portrayed by Harry Del Rios. Phantasio’s one and only appearance on WWF television was a match against Reno Riggins on WWF Wrestling Challenge. This wasn’t just a disaster, it was a forgettable disaster.

5. Eric Escobar

We’re not entirely sure who this is or where he went to. In 2009, Eric Escobar appeared on Smackdown as Vickie’s new boyfriend. Then when Vince McMahon realized he wasn’t Eddie Guerrero, he was released 3 weeks later (citation needed).

6. Jackson Andrews

Admit it. You have no idea who this loser is. Well this is Jackson Andrews (Steven Andrew Slocum). Not even the talented Tyson Kidd could keep this detestable, talentless asshole around. In 2010, this reprehensible tub of garbage hit WWE TV as Tyson Kidd’s bodyguard. Andrews promptly sucked for 3-4 weeks then was sent back down to the developmental promotion FCW. And if you’re wondering why we’re referring to Jackson Andrews as a piece of s***, it’s because he was released in May 2011 after it was revealed he was abusing his fiancée, Rosa Mendes.

7. Bam Neely

Hey look! A random bland, generic WWE create-a-wrestler appeared! If you’re wondering which one is Bam Neely (Justin Bruce Rocheleau), he’s the one that is not wrestling legend Chavo Guerrero, Jr. He debuted in WWE’s ECW as Chavo’s hired bodyguard. We’re not sure if even won a single match in his 9-month run in the company. Neely was released in January 2009.

8. Just Joe

Canadian wrestler Joe E. Legend appeared in WWF as Just Joe, a messenger gimmick that tried to instigate conflict. He had one match on Sunday Night Heat then disappeared into obscurity because no one gave a s***. He was released in March 2001.

9. Braden Walker

ISN’s Amy Wilson Beth was a huge fan of TNA tag team America’s Most Wanted (Chris Harris and James Storm). So when she found out that “Wildcat” Chris Harris hit the local McDonald’s and changed his name to Braden Walker on WWE’s ECW in 2008, AWB was mildly disgusted and majorly disappointed. Here’s a brief timeline of Harris’ stint in WWE:

July 8, 2008 - Debuted on ECW
August 7, 2008 - Released by WWE

He returned to TNA in June 2010, but no one cared since Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff decided to ruin yet another wrestling company in January of that year.

10. Luther Reigns

WWE kayfabe names are literally the worst… ever. Reigns (Matthew Robert Wiese) debuted on WWE Smackdown in 2004 as an assistant to then-general manager Kurt Angle. After making little to no impact for a few months, he left the company in 2005.