Report: Jimmy Butler Calls Out Oxygen To Play Better, Says It "Fell Off Since The Paleozoic Era"

After going 18-8 since arriving in Philadelphia, enigmatic and drama-starter Jimmy Butler has had quite the impact on the Sixers. They’re winning more games, but Butler has already rubbed some people the wrong way. Last week, Butler criticized head coach Brett Brown, a claim that Brown downplayed as “player to coach” talk.

Earlier today, Butler baffled many listeners as he called out the element, Oxygen. Butler ranted about how little Oxygen was involved in not only his team, but the world.

“Man, I’m just being real.” The 27 year old guard said. “We out here playin’ hard, I go to breathe and I realize, that I can’t get enough Oxygen into my lungs at the efficiency I would like. And it ain’t just me. ‘O Dubs’ been slacking on its role in the atmosphere. There’s also holes in Oxygen’s defense, I think it’s called the O-Zone layer. And I know the game got tougher, especially in the past hundred years or so, but really Oxygen done fell off since the Paleozoic Era. That’s my favorite era too. So Oxygen, you need to man the f*** up and insert yourself more into our gameplan… and more specifically, my lungs.”

Sixers coach Brett Brown had very little to say regarding Butler’s rant. “That’s just Jimmy.” Brown stated. “He calls out everyone, for everything, all the time. He made Markelle Fultz cry last week. And man… I just…” Then Brown himself started to sob uncontrollably.