NFL Referees Diagnosed With New Eye Disease: Selective Spontaneous Glaucoma

After an insane weekend in the NFL playoff conference championship games, NFL referees made a series of questionable calls. In the Rams/Saints game, referees missed a blatant pass interference call in the 4th quarter that cost the Saints the game. Then during the Patriots/Chiefs game, there was a ‘roughing the quarterback’ penalty although Tom Brady wasn’t touched at all.

A team of doctors (sponsored by the NFL) evaluated the referees and found they suffered from a new eye disease, selective spontaneous glaucoma. Dr. Robert Gaddell stated in an email to reporters: “I found that all of our NFL referees have a rare form of glaucoma. This particular disease activates spontaneously pending what the viewer is specifically betting at any moment of time. Also, this disease tends to favor Tom Brady for whatever reason.”

SSG is a such a rare form of glaucoma, that it normally resolves whenever any referee takes off their uniform. We wish a speedy recovery to all of the NFL referees.