Before we get started, we are not suggesting having a face tattoo makes you any less of a person. However, we are implying that most of them are shitty and do not make you more attractive, unless it’s Kehlani. And boy does our staff love Kehlani. Anyways, here are some athletes with face tats:

Inika McPherson

Inika McPherson is not to be toyed with. 2013 and 2014 US Indoor High Jump Champion, 2014 USA Outdoor Track and Field High Jump Champion, and represented the United States at the 2016 Olympics in Rio. She also got a 21 month ban for testing positive for benzoylecgonine, the main metabolite in cocaine. Most likely, she parties as hard as she jumps.

2. DeShawn Stevenson

DeShawn Stevenson was a 13-year journeyman in the NBA. Known for his defense, his most memorable years were with the Washington Wizards. There were rumors that Gilbert Arenas only brought guns to the locker room because he was afraid of Stevenson (not really, look at the link). We’re going to be disappointed if Stevenson isn’t a Soundcloud rapper.

3. David Beckham

We’re too lazy to list all of David Beckham’s awards and accolades. If you don’t know who he is, you’re probably not reading this article anyway. He married Posh Spice… so that’s pretty cool.

4. Lucas Nogueira

Unlike David Beckham, we have no idea who this guy is. What we do know, is he’s from Brazil and plays for the Toronto Raptors.

5. Stephon Marbury

Before ruining the New York Knicks, Stephon Marbury was considered an all-star level talent. Ok, Isiah Thomas deserves sole blame for that, but Marbury definitely helped. Then after NBA GMs were all like “man, we don’t need this drama” and passed on Marbury, he took his talents to China where he took on “equal” competition and even won a few Chinese Basketball Association championships.

But seriously, since he left the NBA, Starbury has been a class act. He donated millions of dollars to the NYPD, NY Fire Dept, NY EMT, and NY Teacher’s Fund. He donated $1,000,000 to Hurricane Katrina victims. He also became a revered mentor to American and Chinese basketball youth. Head tattoo or not, Marbury should be a go-to example of a great basketball redemption story.

6. Ethan Westbrooks

Here’s an interesting story. Ethan Westbrooks got a face tattoo to remind him to work hard everyday because he didn’t want a non-football job. We don’t have an anecdote for this. Don’t tattoo your face before you get a job that allows it. Oh but he plays for the Los Angeles Rams now so we guess it paid off.

7. Julz The Jackal

This is Julian Wallace aka Julz the Jackal. He once tried to punk out a fighter during a press conference only to lose in 20 seconds when the actual fight happened. Obviously from his choice of tattoo placement, he’s a ~~tool~~ winner.

8. Adrian “The Lunatic” Perez

We couldn’t find much on this guy. We assume he’s in jail or on the upcoming season of Narcos on Netflix. Either way, you should probably watch Narcos on Netflix if you haven’t yet.