Women Of ISN: Is Idris Elba Sexiest Man Alive?

written by Kipp Cutler - 09:45AM

I mean is he really that attractive though?

I asked our incompetent female staffers if they really thought Idris Elba was the sexiest man alive. They started giggling and fanning themselves like thirsty mule riders in a flooded chemical plant. Trust me, that analogy makes sense… somehow. Anyways, here are their answers via email:

Ana Wilson Beth: “He’s just perfect and hot and he gets even hotter when he speaks in his real accent and then you find out that he’s a DJ.”

Darth Sharon: “I feel like you’re gonna make this sexist or something Kipp. But duh, he’s sexy. Have you looked at him? Of course you have. We all have. We just talked about it at our meeting this morning. Stop bothering me so I can get back to fantasizing. Asshole.”

Izzy of the Forest: “Yes now leave me alone.”

Muscadine Betty: “You’re a f***ing idiot. You just said he was hot the other day. Kipp... you said you had a story to post today and all you could come up with is this? Yes, he’s the sexiest. Now can you please send me those commercial reads you said you would have done last week?”

Garland: “What the hell is an Idris? Is that some sorta sandwich? Or a pokemon? I think an elba is a type of deer, right?”