Earlier this morning on a conference call, WWE Chairman and tone deaf dictator Vince McMahon told a group of board members that he wasn’t entirely sure if Becky Lynch or AJ Styles were actually “over” with fans. Sources close to the situation state that after the call ended, the group of board members promptly called team doctors to enter the chairman into concussion protocol.

An executive, who asked to remain anonymous, spoke briefly with Jason Solomon (from Solomonster Sounds Off Podcast) saying, “We were really hoping he was just high or something. But once he assured us he hasn’t done any drugs, we became concerned because he was more tone deaf and ignorant than normal. Also Raw is a f***ing category 7 s*** storm cyclone of pure disaster.”

Vince McMahon later told executives in a disjointed email; “Which one of you dick hole yes men sent the doctors over here? Just because thousands of fans buy Becky and AJ’s merchandise even though we purposely don’t make enough of it so it doesn’t top Roman and Cena’s numbers, doesn’t mean the fans actually like them, god dammit. They don’t cheer for Becky and AJ week after week. And I would know, even though I barely go to Smackdown or watch the actual show. When fans chant Becky’s name, they’re actually chanting ‘Charlotte’. AJ isn’t f***ing over. Those cheers are actually for Stephanie. Man I really wanna smash that slam piece god dammit. Also, Raw is going to 8 hours starting in January. F*** the fans.”

The discord in upper management comes at an inopportune time after Saudi Arabia’s Crown Jewel and the upcoming event Jim Crow Genocide X from Dr. Doom’s Latveria (streaming WWE 2k19 on Axis_Global Twitch page), however executives are hopeful that Mr. McMahon will be gone until the weekend.