ISN's "Real" NBA 2k19 Player Ratings Pt. 1

Written by Kipp Cutler

The basketball simulator of choice in the gaming community is the NBA 2k series. Garland and I love it. We love it so much that we’ll be playing it upon the launch of infoSports Gaming on the Axis_Global Twitch page. However, we noticed a few inconsistencies in the ratings this year. So we took it upon ourselves to correct a few of the fake ratings. We’ll provide updates as the NBA season moves forward, and we’ll expose a few of these at a time.

Lebron James:
Kipp: “We all know Lebron is garbage. I’ve been saying for weeks that he is the reason Hillary Clinton is building a death ray on Mars and why Shinnock Obama will enter America into Mortal Kombat.”
Garland: “I picked 14 because that’s how old Lebron’s acts.”

Russell Westbrook:
Kipp: “Two words. Triple Doubles. That’s the only thing that matters in the NBA. I just don’t understand why he’s not winning playoff games since he has so many triple doubles.”
Garland: “I would have given Russ a higher rating but he lives in Oklahoma City.”

Kyle Lowry:
Kipp: “How is he still getting paid? He must owe Lebron money, because every April he acts like he’s scared of #23.”
Garland: “I went with 3 for this rating because that’s how many consecutive years he lost to Lebron in the playoffs.”

Chandler Parsons:
Kipp: “36. That’s how many games he played in the 2017-18 season.”
Garland: “0. ‘Cause that’s how many f***s the world gives about Chandler Parsons.”

Giannis Antetokounmpo:
Kipp: “He’s great. But there’s 97 letters in his name, not 94. Those idiots at 2k Studios can’t count.”
Garland: “I don’t even know if he’s a real person. There’s no black people from Greece. They’re not allowed over there probably.”